Let it all burn
by Light-Up-The-Ink
Summary: Julian loves Emma. Fact. But what happens when that love threatens his family? "You are not gentle. You have a ruthless heart."
1. Chapter 1

**Everything you recognise belongs to Cassandra Clare :)**

Seven year old Tavvy Blackthorn knew that when he made a big round shape with his red crayon and coloured really really hard with his yellow crayon, he'd finished his picture.

But when he showed it to his Julian, something was wrong. Normally he'd get a big smile and a cuddle, but that didn't happen.

His Julian was sad and that made Tavvy sad.

Emma sighed as she picked up Tavvy and cuddled him close. She wiped away the tear that had leaked from his eye and stroked his flyaway hair back from his face.

She knew that Tavvy couldn't possibly understand what had happened to their family. But he was tired and the noise that usually came with the Blackthorn clan was absent today.

At some point she would have to figure out how to make it known to him that his sister wasn't going to come home. That time hadn't arrived yet.

"I'll take him up" She said to Julian as she straightened up, Tavvy still tucked in her arms.

There was no reply. She brushed her hand across his shoulders as she went past.

A shudder ran through him, but he didn't say anything. As she looked back from the doorway, she thought that she saw him sag even further into himself.

"Come on little one, time for bed"

She turned and went up the stairs in the Penhallow Manor that were staying in for the night.

* * *

After Emma had left the room, Julian clenched his hand into a fist and brought it down hard against the fireplace he was leaning against.

How could he have been so selfish? Hadn't they been warned what would happen if they continued their relationship?

He loved Emma with every part of his soul, and now he knew that she felt the same way. But nothing good could come of it. Not with the curse hanging over their heads like a black cloud.

The fact was that he and Emma were parabatai; two souls bound together by a bond that ran so deep the mundanes didn't even have a word for it. They fought as one, they knew what the other would do before they did it and they felt each other's pain.

And the number one rule was that they could not fall in love.

Julian watched as his knuckle started to swell, a cut ran across the edge were he had split the skin.

The pain actually helped to lift a bit of the fog that had fallen over his eyes since the Council meeting earlier that day. He glanced up and saw that Dru had finally fallen asleep, her neck bent at an odd angle from where she had been curled up in the armchair. Tear tracks ran down her face.

He got up and picked up the blanket and with the practice of many years tucking in his siblings, wrapped the blanket around and eased a pillow under her head. He turned down the witchlight lamp in the corner of the room and pulled the door too as he left the room.

If it was because she was his parabatai or if it was because she was his Emma, he knew before he turned that she was behind him.

"Julian, I'm sorry, please, tell me what I can do. Let me help you." She reached out to touch his shoulder. He cringed away from her hand.

"Please don't" He said as he drew a breath to try and steady his heart. He knew now what he had to do. And this was never going to be easy.

Emma left her hand raised in the air, not touching him, but close until slowly she lowered it back to her side deflated.

He took another deep breath as if it would give him the strength to go on. "We should talk."

And with that he turned and walked down the corridor, past the dining room and into the kitchen. After she had followed him into the room, he leant against the door and looked anywhere but at her face.

Emma sank down into the chair and waited.

"I can't be with you anymore. I can't take the risk."

It was like a punch to the gut. She felt like he had thrown her against the wall and was physically beating out any hope she had left in her that they could be happy.

"What?" She forced out as she rose from her seat and tried to get him to look her in the eye. "Julian? What are you saying?"

"Don't you understand what happened today?" He looked up then and she could see now why he had been hiding his face.

She saw his rage. And she knew. He meant it.

It was as if a dam had burst and he could finally say what had been ripping him apart since the second the silent brothers had forced him away from Livvy. Since they had made him let go of his baby sister. It wasn't right.

"You knew about the curse! You were the one who could have stopped us! And now look what happened! She's dead Emma, my baby sister is dead because of us! Because we couldn't follow the one rule for parabatai. The one rule.

Malcolm said that we would hurt the ones we loved the most first, that's what you told me. You didn't tell me they would die."

She felt a pulse rock through her parabatai rune and Julian unleashed all of his pain upon her.

"How could we be so stupid to think that this would work? We have no future, none!"

His face was red and his eyes clear as he glared at her like he was truly seeing her for the first time.

This wasn't her Julian, there was no love in his eyes.

"It's your fault that Livvy is dead."

Her breath left her as the rune seemed to tear against her skin. Tears fell down her face as she stood facing the one person who had always been by her side.

Julian pushed past her and into the hallway. She could hear his footsteps as he went up the stairs without a pause.

A numbness started to spread through her as she pulled her hand away from her parabatai rune. It was covered in blood.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello! Firstly WOW! Thank you so much for the reviews! I wasn't expected such a lovely response!**

 **Here's chapter two, I hope you like it :)**

 **Everything you recognise belongs to Cassandra Clare :)**

 **Chapter 2**

The next morning Emma zipped up a hooded jacket over her tank top as she stepped out into the morning air. She pulled the door too with barely a sound and stepped down and away from the Penhallow house. She waited until she was out of sight of the front windows before she paused to stretch the nightlong ache that had settled in her back.

She hadn't slept, just sat in the window seat in one of the upstairs bedrooms looking down on Allicante. For a city that bled warriors, it was so peaceful. No horns blazing, engines and people battling to be heard. Most people were inside not long after the sun had set.

The conversation from last night played over in her mind, so with clenched fists she started to run. Normally, running was her escape. Her chance to pound the pavement and let go of her stress. Whilst even the ground here was different to the sandy beach she was used to, it did help her to release some of her pain into the path.

What Julian had said ripped her apart. Her heart thumped heavily as she replayed to words over in her head. A continuous feed designed to torment her.

And she couldn't fight against it. Because now that he had said the words, all she could think was that it was because of the curse that Livvy had died.

She pushed harder into the run. Already out past the Angel Square and was coming up on the Armory. The roads were narrower here, with the houses dotted with shops selling weapons of all types. Is Emma didn't already have the one sword that she would always choose, she would have been tempted by what was on display in the windows.

The Armory was a small fortress designed, not just to keep out any unwanted visitors, but to show off the craftsmanship of many generations of skilled blacksmiths. In less than an hour, she knew that the gates would open and the shop owners would be here to buy any and all new products to sell.

She kept running. Over the bridge and onto the East side of the city. Here, there were less houses and more farms and stables.

Emma came to a stop and leant against one of the ancient Oak trees overlooking the river.

It was too much. She was used to loss, ever since her parents had died she had been all consumed with revenge. Lying awake trying to work out the missing piece of the riddle as to who had been behind it.

But this was different. Livvy was only fifteen, barely old enough to know what she would want out of life, let alone live it. And Julian, well he had never turned his back on them before.

Emma sunk back against the tree and let her back slide down until she reached the damp ground.

Her tears started to fall silently and whilst she looked up at the demon tower in the distance Emma didn't move to wipe them away.

* * *

Back at the house Julian was in the Kitchen sorting food. No one had come downstairs yet, but the age old tradition hadn't faded in his grief. He lay the table with bowls and cereal so that anyone could help themselves and poured himself a cup of coffee.

He leant back against the counter, cupping the mug between his hands and stared off out of the window.

Emma had left this morning, whilst quiet enough not to wake anyone else, he had heard.

Dru had woken in a cold sweat in the night and, when she had found herself sleeping on the settee, had taken herself to bed.

Tavvy had slept through the night. The youngest Blackthorn had been oblivious to what had happened.

This morning Julian needed to go up to the Gard to sort things out. After the Council meeting yesterday, Helen and Aline had been sent straight back to Wrangel Island. No matter of pleading do convince a majority vote to be able to let them stay. Aline had had to drag Helen back from Ty's bedside lest she face the retaliation of the Clave.

As Mark had not been formally exiled as Shadowhunter, there was no standing agreement to send him away. Despite being in the heart of the battle, Mark had dropped straight to Ty's side when he fell. There were no witnesses of him doing anything wrong, so he could stay.

With The Cohort standing by with their placards promoting the registration of the Downworlders, Jia Penhallow, the Consul had suggested the Mark stay in the infirmary with Ty. That way Julian knew he was safe, and also the protesters were less likely to follow the younger Blackthorns home.

Julian watched as the sun finally broke the horizon. He downed the last dregs of his coffee, turned and headed upstairs the get Tavvy up and ready for the day.

* * *

In the Infirmary there hadn't been much change all night. Ty lay on a bed of starched linen in a pair of cotton pyjamas the nurse had changed him into the previous evening. It appeared that he was just sleeping, however the Silent Brothers had been and gone with no news about when he would wake.

"The bond between Tiberius and Livia as twins is much stronger that of siblings we have seen in the past. It will take some time before this will settle for young Tiberius to find peace. We have done what we can, Time shall heal him now."

For Mark, there hadn't been any sense in what the Brothers had said, but he knew that they were the best when it came to injuries other Shadowhunters could not see. If they said that it would take time, then he would wait.

Now after being curled up in the armchair next to Ty's bed all night, Mark was starting to rethink the idea that it was ok just to wait.

A door rattled at the other end of the room and Mark looked up expecting to see one of the nurses. It wasn't.

With a tray balance on one arm and a bag thrown over the other, Cristina nudged the door closed behind her and headed towards him.

"Hi" She slung the bag towards him and slid the tray onto the bedside table. "I thought you might want a change of clothes."

She perched daintily on the arm of his chair and picked up one of the bowls of porridge of the tray. There was also a selection of fruit and two glasses of orange juice. "Hungry?" She asked.

"Yes, thank you. You didn't have to go to the trouble."

He felt the corner of his mouth pick up as he reached over for the juice.

"Is there any news with Ty?" She asked, watching the younger Blackthorn sleep.

"No, the Silent Brothers say that we just have to wait for him to wake up on his own. Just give him time." Mark leant back in the chair and tried to ease the kink out of his shoulders.

"And you? Are you ok?"

He looked up at Cristina. "No, not really. I will be. In time"


End file.
